He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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