And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
