How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My cat gives me a boner
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
