omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize