If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
