Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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