I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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