yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize