So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
