at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
