he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
