Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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