Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
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He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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