You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
