I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
