its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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