im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
