May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
