paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
