I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
