Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
