The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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