i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
