filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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