I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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