singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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