You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
