I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He passed out mid-signature
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
