We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
