Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Randomize
