K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I smell stomach acid.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
