I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
