Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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