the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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