did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
he's gonorrhea incarnate
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
