Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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