Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
