I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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