Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I am naked and annoyed.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
