I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
the day after is always just damage control
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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