He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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