I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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