I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
