I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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