i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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