Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
