I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
