I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
