Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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