Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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