New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
