You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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