You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
