is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
