so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
