i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize