Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
