that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
