I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
True strength comes from lack of pants
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
