Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
