Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
