are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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