I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
