id be glad to
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize