Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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