You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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