when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
